Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
