Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
