is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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