need another drink. this is the easiest way
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Randomize
