There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
