Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
