I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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