i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Found the puke drawer
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
