And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
