So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wish i was in the wii world.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Let's get the cat blown out
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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