there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
