if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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