Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
