The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
