There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
