Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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