So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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