I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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