I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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