Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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