a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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