Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i think my mom watched the whole time
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
