Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
