im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Houston, we have a blender
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
