At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
