her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
