If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
