Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
