Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
