you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
