White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
