It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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