I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
