So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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