Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
