Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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