i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
