so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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