yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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