i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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