Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
