I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
