Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
