I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
