so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
