They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
