just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
