Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
