your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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