tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
