And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
