Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
